Have you ever felt like you’ve crossed a line in your relationship that didn’t seem like it was there a few moments ago? I often relate this experience to soccer’s rule of "offsides". It’s similar to being “out of bounds”, but the most relevant part is that this line is constantly moving. Imagine how frustrating it would be to believe you are making all the right decisions and then suddenly, someone blows the whistle, and you are told you made a mistake or you’re at fault. This moment can be very surprising, leading to defensive behaviors, and resulting in disconnection. 

Read More