10 Ways to Fight for Your Mental Health and Well-Being this Election Cycle
I will be honest, I couldn’t watch the debate last night. In my role as a therapist who holds a great deal of space for folks with oppressed identities and values similar to mine, it felt like an act of self-care to step away from the debate last night.
Somewhere around 9:30 pm, a tremendous amount of guilt set in. I turned it on and immediately I experienced somatic responses of fear, anger, and hopelessness. Listening to my body and my wise mind, I turned it off and went to bed, trying to find a calm and soothing place in my body and mind to focus on.
This morning I woke up scared. Scared for my clients, scared for my black and brown friends, scared for the young bi-racial man who will be the closest thing I will ever have to a son, scared for myself.
I cried. I felt frozen, hopeless, and helpless. If you know me, you know I can’t stay in that space for very long - it is intolerable. I am a fighter at my core.
I asked myself, what am I going to do to get through this election season? How am I going to take care of my mental health? What have I been telling my clients for the past few weeks when they tell me they are falling into a state of executive dysfunction because they are “paying attention” to the election and feeling fear and anxiety? What am I going to do for myself so that I can feel empowered and in a state of control for the next six weeks?
10 Ways to Fight for Your Mental Health and Well-Being this Election Cycle
ONE: acknowledge your trauma responses
Let’s face it, racial and gender minorities are under more stress and strain than ever. For many folks, they are on a roller coaster of emotions related to the state of our country today. This means our nervous systems are in overdrive. Notice your body.
Name the state your body is in: fight, flight, or freeze. Validate that experience for yourself. “Self, it makes sense that I am frozen right now, I am scared, I feel helpless,” or “Self, it makes sense that I am angry right now, the system is working against us and not for us.”
Then seek consent from yourself. “Is this how I want to feel?” “Is there something I can do differently?” Use resources available to you to help support changing the state of discomfort you may be in.
TWO: take actions that feel attainable and manageable
Don’t take on more than you can. We each have different stress tolerance levels and what works best for your friends or family may not work for you. Do not compare your actions during this time to the actions of others. You do not know what their stress tolerance level is, what resources they have access to, or how they are truly coping.
Set small goals for the day. Do one thing at a time. Ask yourself how much energy do you have and pick a task that pairs with that level of energy.
THREE: engage in value-based living
If you have ever come to me for therapy, you know I ask every client to engage in a values assessment. If we are consciously aware of our values, we can use them to make intentional decisions, set boundaries, and decide which actions will have the most impact on our mental health and well-being.
FOUR: create boundaries that work for you with family and friends who share differing political viewpoints
It is okay to tell your family and friends that politics are off the table. It is also okay to tell your family and friends that the political is personal and the personal is political. You have to find the balance between the good that your family and friends bring to your life and the harm that they bring to your life.
Embrace the parts of your loved ones that feel supportive, loving, and secure. Develop the tools you need with your therapist and support system to set boundaries around the parts that feel harmful and unsafe.
FIVE: engage in pleasurable activities and rest
When I find myself exhausted, I remind myself that rest is an act of social justice. If you feel stuck identifying acts of pleasure or rest that you can engage in, try this tool: You Feel Like Shit and Interactive Self Care Guide. It’s great for folks with executive dysfunction or for those who can’t quite put their finger on what is wrong or what to do about it.
Still feel stuck? Call a friend, ask them to help you get up, get out, and feel differently. Even some fresh clothes and movement outdoors can make a difference.
SIX: limit your time on social media and do not engage with trolls
Especially during the pandemic, we are all using social media to stay connected with others. However, social media is designed to excite you and suck you in. In Netflix’s The Social Dilemma, platform creators all had one consistent message: our attention is the product.
It is okay to walk away. Ask friends and family for alternate means of communication that do not include algorithms that can measure your interests. If you can’t help yourself and keep reaching to scroll, consider removing apps or using time management features on your phone.
SEVEN: do your own research about your local, state, and federal candidates
The news is a very confusing platform these days. All forms of media, print and written, seem to be taking a partisan stance AND are also designed to elicit an emotional response. Take the time to do your own research. Know which issues are crucial to your vote and which issues you have some wiggle room on. Then use options like Congress.gov, Ballotpedia.org, Vote411.org, and FactChecking.org to sort out the options on your local ballot.
EIGHT: engage in an act of service
If you are feeling helpless, doing an act of service may be a way to feel empowered. Research ways that you can support the polls in your community. One option is to sign up with a non-partisan election protection group, become a poll worker, or volunteer for a candidate that you plan to vote for.
NINE: celebrate the good
Despite the systemic inequities that exist in our political processes, there is still some good in the system. For example, I live in an area that has been historically partisan, limiting my options on who to vote for, including incumbents that do not align with my values. However, in the last three election cycles, I have been able to vote consistent with my party affiliation. I celebrate and support the continued diversity and success of political change in my local community, which ultimately will help drive change throughout my state and country.
TEN: find a therapist or support group who can confidently hold space for your political anxieties
Therapists are taught to keep their values and politics out of the room. In my 20 years of doing this work, I would have previously agreed, but right now you need us.
If your therapist is not able to hold space for the stress and strain of your political experience, let them know that is not okay and that you need help. If you are not able to access therapy, one benefit of the pandemic is the ability to access supports nationwide. Search out circles and supports where folks are able to hold space for this form of sharing, stress, and action.